Being in your right mind.

 

According to my wife, who is, you're only in your "right" mind if you're left-handed.  I'm not and she teases me.  So do a couple of our children, who also are.

After 46 years, she still brings me nuts and bolts she’s found in the house and asks if I've lost any.  We have a good relationship -- I usually do what she suggests because it is well thought out, sounds like a good idea and is probably what I would have done, had I thought of it. 

On the other hand, she doesn’t disagree with what I plan most of the time.  This sometimes leads to other problems, especially if one of my ideas doesn’t quite work out and we get into debt – which has happened.

She knows, if she ever pushes me too far, I’ll find a way to leave (and so would she, were the situation reversed).  She doesn’t like me saying this, but I tell people who ask what “our secret” to a long marriage might be: “There’s no one else in the world that would willingly put up with either of us.”

I don’t believe there will ever be any domestic violence in our home – both of us think it’s stupid.  It certainly doesn’t solve any problems and opens untold cans of worms. 

I know, statistically, that it's more likely I will die first.  I hope that's the case because she would be much better able to cope with my demise than I hers.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t – at least don’t plan to – run out and commit suicide were she to pass away. 

I just believe she’d have the children as a backup where I was their father, but not necessarily their close friend as she has been.   She doesn’t believe it but she could take care of herself and will probably live to see our great-great-?? grandchildren grow and have children of their own. 

Don’t misunderstand; I don’t plan to leave soon.  My parents both lived into their eighties and my grandmother saw two doctors, who had predicted her demise, die, within months after when they predicted she would pass away.  I think she made into her seventies, if not her eighties, as well … possibly into her nineties.

The third told her (this was probably more than 40 years after the first episode when a doctor told her she would die within two years and died himself in one) that she was going to die – “I will be damned if I’ll tell you when.”  He was the only doctor to outlive her. 

I generally do whatever is necessary to keep going and I’d continue doing that.  I’m too curious about what the Human race will run into to take my own life.  I’m also afraid of attempting suicide and failing with the result that I’d no longer be capable of making my own decisions nor doing anything else.

I spent 23 years in the United States Air Force, much of it away from our family, including tours in the Philippines and Germany, for example, where “we” decided she wouldn’t join me, because of various reasons I won’t discuss here.

I disagreed with some of her reasons not to join me in the both locations – but that’s long past and, whether or not she agrees, she made those decisions – I just went along with them because it was easier to do so than to fight. 

I also served, from 1971-1972, in the Republic of Thailand during the Vietnam era.  My assignment was far outside Bangkok, nearly on the Laotian border.  Earlier in the “war,” before I arrived at Nakhon Phanom RTAFB, B-52 Stratofortresses bombed the Ho-Chi-Minh Trail (which you could just about see from the base) and the ground shook.  Five-hundred and thousand-pound bombs make quite an impact when they hit ground.  

Families weren’t allowed where I was stationed.  They sometimes were allowed in the capital city.

Just as an aside, the Thais didn’t believe in displaying public affection, even between husband and wife.  Some of our people got in trouble for holding hands (much less hugging and kissing) in public.  I’m not sure, but some may even have been arrested.  That was especially true in the more rural areas.  Thais who lived in Bangkok became more used to us Americans and our foibles.

If you’ve seen the movie ANNA AND THE KING OF SIAM, remember that that was Thailand.  Kowtowing (that’s what they would call bowing like that in China, I believe) actually does go on – though probably not to the degree in the movie.  The movie, as you might not know, was based on a true story – there really was a British “Anna” who taught the princes and princesses of Thailand. 

The country has also changed a lot in the more than 30 years since I was stationed there. 

I heard a story that during World War II the Thai’s expected our military to follow their rules regarding bowing.  We more or less told them, according to the story, that if they insisted we play their game, we would go home and leave them to fight the Japanese by themselves.

(Remember, that’s only a story and probably has little basis in fact.  The Thais performed quite well against the Japanese invaders.  We helped some, that’s all.)

One of the Thai princes was actually born an American citizen as his father, the current King, was studying in the United States when the prince was born.  One story is that he had to renounce his American citizenship.  Can you imagine the King of Thailand getting a draft notice or a jury summons?  That would have been interesting.  What could anyone do if he refused?

The same or a different story – I’m not sure now – also described a major interview on National TV by a well-known reporter.  During the interview, the reporter crossed his legs, pointing his toe at the new, now adult, King of Thailand after the “baby” had succeeded to the throne. 

The King didn’t say anything but the Thai ambassador called the State Department after seeing the show live on American TV.  He said they wouldn’t be using the interview in Thailand.

Asked why, the ambassador explained that raising your foot above the King’s (except if you were walking) and pointing your toe at a Thai was an insult.

Earlier in my career, my wife and our two (at the time) children did join me on Guam – she had to wait six months for the trip.  Our third (of six) child was born at the Agana Naval Station.  We still call her our “Guamanian.”  Since Andersen was located just outside the “city” of Dededo, she was almost a Dededoen or something like that.

One thing I’ll tell you: The idea that you can get a baby to be born if you drive over bad roads didn’t work for us. 

We found some of the worst roads in the world and drove over them for hours.  Our third still came when she was good and ready. She didn’t pay any attention to my driving over those ridiculous ruts which hurt our backs and shook our teeth.  Our other two children thought it was funny.

We thought those ruts would shake the car apart.  You could see the ground through the holes in the floorboards of our “Guam Bomb,” a car whose major attribute was that it usually ran.  (You must admit, that was a very good attribute.)

We once ran it purposely into a coconut tree to get it stopped when the brakes failed going down a long hill to Tarague Beach on Andersen AFB, Guam.  A coconut actually fell on the car after we hit the tree, denting the roof.

We sold the car when we left for more than we paid for it. 

Right now we’re living in Florida, enjoying living next door to one of our daughters and her family.  It’s too wet here for us, though, and when we have enough money, we’re probably going to move – maybe to Tennessee where there is a good-sized VA hospital near Nashville. 

At least there we’ll have seasons and it might not rain as much.  I have friends there and the prices and taxes aren’t as high.  Once we get there, financially speaking at least, we’ll probably do OK – especially if some of my ideas actually work.

We’ve made some plans for the future.  Long ago we decided we would have a “yours, mine and ours” relationship regarding money.  We have no “joint” accounts.  She has her own income, checking account, charge cards, etc., and the worries which go with them.  I have mine.  She usually handles her money better than I do mine. 

“Our” money, mostly provided by me since my income is greater than hers, is used to pay bills.  I pay them.  We help each other out in “times of need,” and pay each other back as well.  Should we win the lottery, that’s how our winnings will be allocated.

I am worried about long-term illness.  I think we’re adequately covered by Medicaid and the military’s Tri-Care For Life program but I’m not positive.  I haven’t really checked into it – I guess because I’m afraid I’ll find out I’m wrong.

Since I’m a retired USAF veteran, both she and I will probably be buried in a military cemetery at little cost.  Since we will have spent more than ?? years together, I don’t think our bodies will have any problems being in close proximity to each other for eternity – I’m sure “we’ll” be elsewhere. 

We each have our own beliefs in the “afterlife,” and neither discusses them nor disagrees with the other – at least not in spoken words.  I may talk about my beliefs in a later article – if anyone’s interested. 

Just understand:  My beliefs are my own and I’m not interested in persuading anyone else to believe as I do – nor will I welcome anyone’s trying to “save” me.  You’re welcome to your beliefs and I wish you as much happiness in yours as I have in mine. 

If you have a chance, keep us in your prayers.

In the meantime, May Irish Blessings Be Upon You and Yours.  May your enemies be afflicted with my modified Irish Curse: “May They Itch Without the Benefit of Scratching.”