Multiple Children and Marriage

 

Someone asked a question on HUBpages: “What are some tips for managing a marriage while still taking care of multiple kids?”

I started trying to answer that question and it grew like “Topsy.”  (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/grow+like+Topsy )

First of all, I don’t understand your question. Are you asking how you handle a marriage when you have more than one child (my wife and I have six), or do you mean when you have twins or triplets? 

The answer is actually the same – you do what’s necessary to keep going.  Get help if you need it.  Sometimes parents, especially mothers, are eager to help.  If a mother isn’t available or is unwilling, seek help from other relatives, friends, your church, your medical professional or wherever you can get it. 

You don’t have to be alone. You can even get some advice from websites: MomsLikeMe.com | Where local moms meet   is an example. 

If you’ve been blessed – or cursed (depends on how you feel at the time) with more than one young child, you simply have to do what you have to do to save your children, your marriage and yourself.  My wife wanted a large family and she wanted them while she was young.  Ours resemble stair steps, our first born in 1964 and the last in 1970. 

While both husband and wife have a say in the size of a family, I think the choice of whether or not to bear a child should primarily be the wife’s.  Anyone remember the show ALIEN NATION where the male alien also carried the baby for part of the time?  I guarantee you, if I had had to carry a baby, we would never had gotten to four, except through adoption. 

Should you want more children, there are many, both in the United States and in foreign countries that need parents. 

Finances are often a problem as is education.  Having children shouldn’t stop either.  You can take the College Level Examination Program (CLEP) general tests and get 30 semester hours in less than a week.  The cost is far less than tuition, room and board and books.

Review my HUB: http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-pay-for-a-college-education for some more ideas along this line. 

You can run a business from home.  It’s difficult when you have children, especially small ones, but there are many you can do.  You can sell AVON, for example.  You may be able to tutor. You could bake cakes or cookies.  You could be a virtual assistant or shop for someone else when you shop.  There’s “mystery shopping.”

You have to be careful with the last.  A good mystery shopping company doesn’t charge you to get work.   They don’t pay you mileage but usually do pay a “fee” and also for whatever you have to purchase in the course of your shop. 

Sometimes you “shop” and no one, except the people who are paying you, know you are a mystery shopper.  I’ve done “announced shops,” and those can be fun but they can also be disappointing. 

I went to a theater and the idea was that I would go to the concession stand and ask for a coke.  They were supposed to respond with an offer of a hamburger or hotdog. 

I was lucky, the young lady behind the counter responded correctly. I asked for her manager and gave him and all the employees there gift cards.  Hers was worth $50 and the rest, I think, were $20.

I said “young lady,” because I’m over 60 now and practically everyone seems younger.

I’ve also done shops where they did a poor job and I had to tell the manager that.  Getting the manager’s signature on my form was part of the job then, too.

I’ve gone to theaters and watched the ads prior to the movies.  I had a list of what was to be shown and I had to report whether or not the theater did it properly. This was also an “announced” shop.  The manager had to sign my form. 

Regarding mileage, remember to ask your tax preparer what you can and cannot deduct.  This is true not only for vehicle expenses but also for any expense relating to your business.  For example, the IRS severely limits you concerning deductions for your “home office.”  Talk to a professional, don’t just take my word.

If you can type and are relatively good with grammar, etc, you might consider typing term papers for college students.  There’s always something.  You simply have to look for it. 

If you want to start your own business, check this HUB: http://hubpages.com/hub/Business-Startup-Suggestions.  You might find it informative.  And, when you have your own business, and you can take time away from the children, check this HUB: http://hubpages.com/hub/Work-at-Home-or-Get-an-Office.

You see – this grew out of trying to answer a relatively simple question.